I Feel Guilty
Let me prelude this post with this - in no way am I trying to brag.
I was born five years before my sisters. As I went through school, I excelled. I was reading at an eighth/ninth grade level and doing Algebra I in fifth grade. I know that these are only minor accomplishments, but needless to say, I had no problems with school. I brought home my "A Honor Roll" report cards every quarter and made Mom and Dad proud. My sisters grew up in my footsteps, seeing how happy I made them. Well now, my sisters are in seventh grade and I'm seeing the effects of my overachievement. My sister, Faith, is struggling with middle school History and English. They were not hard at all, and I have no idea how she is having trouble with them, but she is. Well, tonight, my mom was talking to her about her grades and she runs of the kitchen crying and she yelled, "I'm sorry I'm not like Christian!"
Now this has me thinking. My sisters excel in things that I don't, like soccer, but not in things that really seem to matter (in my opinion), like school. I understand middle school grades don't really matter a whole lot, but I see that I have affected their self esteem and they're trying to live up to me. I feel guilty because of it.
I guess this isn't exactly a knowledge issue, but a blog post about something pertinent in my life.
Well, don't feel guilty. Thousands, even millions of older siblings (myself included) are often singled out by younger siblings to blame for being chastised for low grades, as in they are feeling as if they are expected to do what the older one did. I wonder if praising excellence is unhealthy? This might tie into that article from English about how Asian cultures handle achievement, in terms of growth rather than natural talent, struggling rather than sliding.
ReplyDeleteI actually kind of thought about that as well. We as Americans definitely praise excellence and condone struggle. Why don't we embrace that struggle? However, before that article, I never really thought much of it.
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